Scars Of The Past
by Skylark Starflower
Summary: [FF VI] Setzer can't sleep. Niether can Terra, so he spends a few hours telling her about his past. Rated for mature situations.


Author's note/disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or places in FF VI. They all belong to Square. All hail Square! ^_^ I make no money off this so please don't sue me. I'm still poor. ^_^

You may be able to figure it out on your own, but everything in _italics_ is a flashback. Oh, and another thing. I would rate most of my fics around the PG area, but this one I will rate R for language and mature content. You have been warned. Now, on with the fic!

**"Scars of the Past"**

**Written by Skylark Starflower**

**Second draft started January 2, 2003**

**Finished January 3, 2003**

_The sun was setting._

Daryl, where are you?

_Setzer gazed out over the landscape. It was almost like he could see the whole world from this hill. Almost…like flying, without leaving the ground._

_ Their hill._

_ But she wasn't there._

_ He stood and looked to the sky. He saw nothing save the birds and clouds. He lowered his head and sighed._

_ She wasn't coming back._

_ He knew in his heart it was true, but his mind kept telling him to give her time; she was just running late._

_ He turned and walked away, eyes downcast._

* * *

Setzer awoke to find that he was crying. Sitting up, he brushed away the tears in annoyance. He couldn't let his friends see him like this.

He fell back onto the mattress and pulled the covers back up. Somewhere in the castle, a clock was chiming the hour. Two o'clock.

The minutes slowly ticked by, but sleep did not return to the gambler. Setzer tossed and turned for a while before just giving up, pushing back the covers and standing. After slipping into the housecoat and slippers Edgar had had provided for him and the others, he left the guest room. Quietly, of course, so as not to wake the others who where sharing the room with him.

He made his way outside to the battlements, shivering in the suddenly cold air. He knew deserts were colder at night, but he hadn't expected it to be quite this chilly. Pulling his housecoat tighter about his shoulders, he walked to the edge and gazed out across the sand. It sparkled in the pale moonlight.

"What are you doing out here so late, Setzer?"

Setzer started but didn't turn around.

"I should ask you the same, Terra."

Terra moved up beside Setzer, and he could see she was similarly clad. "I couldn't sleep."

"Neither could I." Setzer continued to watch the desert. "The man who said deserts don't offer pleasant scenery obviously never set foot in one at night."

"Yes, it's beautiful." Terra grew silent as she studied Setzer. "You look troubled. Is something wrong?"

Setzer crossed his arms across the top of the battlements and rested his head on them. He sighed. "Yeah…"

They were silent for a moment.

"You're thinking about Daryl, aren't you?"

"You can read me like a book, can't you?"

"Well, I just figured what else could be bothering you at this hour. Certainly nothing to do with who owes you GP, am I right?" Terra smiled at him, and he couldn't help but smile back.

But the moment passed quickly. Setzer returned to staring out over the moonlit desert, his face a picture of misery. Terra rubbed his shoulder.

"You really miss her." It wasn't a question. Setzer nodded. 

"Would you like to tell me about it? I've heard it helps to talk."

"…Where should I start?"

"Um…well, how did you and Daryl first meet?"

Setzer couldn't help the wistful smile that spread across his face. "It was in a casino in Jidoor."

Terra giggled. "I should have known."

* * *

_The other players groaned in frustration as Setzer raked in the pot yet again._

_ "I don't know how you do it, Setzer," laughed Josephe, Setzer's best friend, "I've never seen anyone with your luck at cards."_

_ Setzer shrugged. "I dunno, either," he said modestly, "it just happens."_

_ "Yeah, whatever you say," grinned Josephe. Setzer smirked._

_ "Are we gonna play or what?" snapped one of the other players. Setzer laughed and started to deal the cards. He had no way of knowing that the cocktail waitress who was assigned to their table was done her shift and that her replacement was just coming on duty._

_ Setzer finished dealing and picked up his hand as the new girl arrived at the table. The others, all having had a bit too much to drink, started to whistle in appreciation. Setzer, however, fell silent. He had never seen such beauty before._

_ Josephe swatted him on the shoulder. "Shut yer mouth, man. You're drooling."_

_ Setzer quickly shut his mouth and shook his head._

_ "Can I get you boys anything?" There was a warning note in the girl's voice. She wasn't about to take any crap from drunken fools._

_ "I'm sure the guys would like another round." Setzer's proclamation was met with hearty cheers. "I, on the other hand, would just like to ask your name."_

_ "No."_

_ Setzer wasn't going to let that stop him._

_ "No? That's an interesting name. Is it French?" It had the effect he was hoping for. The girl smiled._

_ "Fine. What harm could it do? My name's Daryl."_

_ "And I am Setzer Gabbiani." He took her hand and kissed it gently. "It is a pleasure to meet you."_

_ "Um, look, it's nice to meet you, too," replied Daryl, pulling her hand back while trying to hide her blush, "but I've got work to do."_

_ With that, Daryl disappeared into the crowd._

_ Josephe was crowing with laughter. _"My dear," _he mocked in a passable imitation of Setzer's voice,_ "allow me to carry you off into the sunset!"__

_ "Oh, shut up."_

* * *

"I tracked her down after she was done work and asked if she'd like to go for a ride on the Blackjack."

"Setzer!"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Terra. I flew her to Kohlingen and back. I don't work as fast as a certain young king." Setzer looked up to the moon. "That was where her addiction to flying began. Shortly afterwards, she told me she was going to build an airship of her own, and it would be faster and more powerful than the Blackjack.

"She didn't know the first thing about the construction of an airship then. I helped her draw up the design for the Falcon, and helped her build half of it before she knew what she was doing. Once it was done, we raced the airships. The Falcon won every time.

"Then, one day, Daryl decided she would see how high the Falcon could go. That was the day she never came back…" Setzer trained his gaze across the desert once again. I'm not going to cry, he thought.

Terra put an arm around Setzer's shoulders, rubbing his back with the other. Several moments passed before Setzer spoke again.

"I don't think this is helping," he said, his voice almost a whisper.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You were right, after all. …I just don't think it's helping."

"…Would you like to talk about something else, then?"

"Like what?"

"Um…" Terra paused for a moment, thinking. "Well, you could tell me about this Josephe fellow. He was your best friend? What ever happened to him?"

"Unfortunately, I don't know what happened to him. We haven't spoken since I took an offer from the Empire…"

* * *

_"Are you out of your mind, Setzer!?"_

_ Setzer stopped what he was doing and glared at his friend. "I'm broke, and you know I'm not going to make back the GP the way I used to. This is probably my only chance to make enough to pay off my debts."_

_ "Yeah, but working for the Empire!? They're the fuckin' _enemy,_ man! You've seen what they've been doing. I thought you were with me on this."_

_ "There hasn't been any proof that the Empire is behind any of that."_

_ "And this is your way of finding out the truth? Work for the fuckers?"_

_ Setzer gritted his teeth and went back to packing the Blackjack without replying. Josephe snarled in anger, grabbed Setzer by the shoulder and slammed him into the side of the airship._

_ "Listen to me, you jackass! You don't need to do this! You can find honest work elsewhere!"_

_ Setzer looked Josephe in the eye, but remained silent. Then he sighed and fingered a scar meaningfully._

_ "I might not have the time to find it."_

_ "So you'll sell out to the Empire."_

_ Setzer pushed Josephe away and turned to continue packing. "Look, I like this about as much as you do, so lay off."_

_ Josephe crossed his arms. "If you like it that little, why are you doing it?"_

_ Setzer threw down his arms in anger and frustration. "Because I don't have a choice!"_

_ Josephe shook his head, and drew back his fist._

_ BAM!_

Setzer went sprawling as Josephe shook his head again. "Asshole. Don't you ever talk to me again." With that, he turned and stalked away. Setzer stood and glared after him. He wiped a trickle of blood from his mouth on the back of his jacket sleeve, and went back to packing.

* * *

"I haven't seen him or his wife Angie since. I don't even know if they're still alive."

A silence fell. Terra didn't know what to say. The wind picked up, blowing chilled air through her hair. She shivered. Noticing, Setzer drew her over, hugging her close to keep her warm. Terra stiffened in surprise.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't've done that…" he apologized, backing off.

"No, it's okay. You…just took me by surprise, is all." She snuggled back up to him. "It _is_ a bit chilly out."

"Hmm."

It was silent again for several minutes.

"So…just how _did_ you get those scars?"

Setzer smirked. "Why don't I just tell you my life story, eh? It'll be shorter that way."

"Okay, then. Tell me."

Setzer was taken by surprise. "I was only kidding, you know."

"I know, but tell me anyway. I'm curious."

"I'll spare you the boring details and start shortly after Daryl disappeared, how's that? If anything, it should answer all the questions I'm sure you'd like to know the answer to."

"Fine, then." Terra smiled.

Setzer grinned back and started to talk.

* * *

_Josephe placed a hand on Setzer's shoulder to stay him as he tried to walk out the door._

_ "Give it up, man. It's been over a month now…I doubt you'll find her now."_

Setzer looked at Josephe, but he wasn't focusing on anything. He remained silent for a long time. He knew Josephe was right. 

Daryl was never much of a fighter… Even if she did survive the crash…_ But then again, Setzer didn't even know if she _had_ crashed. It was just the most logical conclusion to why she hadn't returned._

_ In a daze, Setzer made his way over to a chair and slumped into it before hiding his face in his hands._

_ Angie walked over to his side and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Setzer?"_

_ He shook his head._

_ "Can I get you something? Is there anything you'd like me to do for you?" Again, Setzer shook his head._

_ Josephe walked over and took Angie's hand. He turned to Setzer. "We should be going now. You gonna be okay by yourself?"_

_ Setzer shrugged. Josephe rolled his eyes. "Look, I won't leave you here alone if you're gonna be like this. Would you like to come stay with us for a few days?"_

_ Setzer shook his head._

_ "Are you sure?"_

_ Setzer nodded._

_ "Dammit! Say something, will ya!?"_

_ Setzer sighed. "…I'll…be fine."_

_ Josephe shook his head and pulled Setzer up from the chair. "Pack some stuff. You're coming with us."_

"…Thanks."

* * *

"Took it kinda hard, didn't I?"

"That's pathetic, is what that is," Terra blurted before she could stop herself. She waited, a bit frightened, to see what Setzer's reaction would be.

To her surprise, he just smiled. "It was, wasn't it?"

Terra sighed inwardly with relief as Setzer continued.

* * *

"Setzer, you've gotta start taking care of yourself."

Setzer slumped into a chair across from Josephe as Angie passed him a plate with his breakfast. Setzer picked up his fork and started to poke at his eggs.

"What's the point?"

"Damn it, Setz, this is pathetic. I know you loved the girl, but you've gotta get over her. She's dead and there ain't nothing you can do about it. But that's no reason to give up on life. You've got to move on."

"Mmm."

"We can't be taking care of you for the rest of your life."

Setzer didn't say anything. Angie took a seat beside Josephe, but across from Setzer, and studied the gambler.

"You don't look very well, Setzer. Are you feeling all right?" She pressed a hand to his forehead. "You feel warm. Maybe you should go lie down."

"Mmm."

Setzer stood and walked listlessly back to the guest room. Angie and Josephe exchanged worried looks.

* * *

"He's really sick."

The chemist rummaged through his bag and produced a bottle of a creamy white liquid. "Get him to drink this if his fever gets too high. Otherwise, there's not much else you can do for him." He handed the bottle to Josephe.

"But you don't know what it is?" asked Angie.

The chemist shook his head. "I'm sorry. I've never seen anything quite like it. At first glance, it seems to be just a fever, but then there are the other symptoms that shouldn't be there. That medicine and a prescription for bed rest and constant care is the best I can do.

"If he gets worse, contact me again. I'm going to do some research, and I may know something more. Be assured, as well, that if I do find out more, I will let you know about it."

He shrugged apologetically, packed his bag and left. Josephe and Angie walked into the room where Setzer was staying.

The sickly gambler was stretched out on his side; evidently, it hurt him to lie on his back. He was trembling like a leaf in a gale, covered in several heavy blankets. His face was flushed and his eyes were squeezed shut in pain. His breath came in a short, laboured rasp.

Angie walked over to his side and pressed a cool, wet cloth to his forehead. It seemed to calm him some.

"So, what do we do now?" she asked.

Josephe shrugged. "Whatever we can, I suppose."

* * *

"To this day, I have no idea what it was I was sick with. Obviously it didn't kill me, but I never really recovered, either. I'm not sick all the time, mind, it's just that whenever something's going around, I'll be the first to catch it and last to get over it. And I've been pale like this ever since I recovered. I don't know why.

"I took a long time to recover, but once I did, I started to search for Daryl again. I wasn't too hopeful that I'd find her after all that time, and I didn't.

"I found the Falcon a full year after Daryl disappeared out on Triangle Island. With Josephe's help, I rebuilt it and stored it away in the tomb I had built for Daryl with the last of my GP. I was figuring that I'd make it all back at the card tables anyway."

Setzer grew silent for a moment, considering how to continue.

"I tried to make the money back, but after everything that had happened, I …kinda lost my edge, you see? I had to borrow the GP from loan sharks, and some of them were starting to get a bit… worried that I wouldn't make payment…"

* * *

It was getting late when Setzer finally called it a day. It had been one of his better days; he had managed to break even in the end. He didn't know what had happened, his luck seemed to have deserted him.

Sticking his hands in his pockets, he made his way back to the Blackjack through the mostly deserted streets. He couldn't afford to stay at the inn.

It was as he walked past a particularly dark alley when he found himself being dragged backwards by the shoulders. His assailant slammed him into the wall and pressed a dagger to his throat.

"You owe my boss some money, and he'd like to see it. Now." He pressed a little harder with the dagger. "I would really hate to have to mess up this handsome face."

Oh, hell. "…I can have it by Monda…"

Swish! Setzer snapped his eyes closed as the goon drew the dagger across his left eye. It stung, but Setzer could feel that it hadn't cut through the lid.

"Not good enough. Now, do you have the money or not?"

Setzer panicked. He couldn't say yes because then he'd have to hand it over, but saying no would be the end of him. Either way, he was finished.

The thug added a few more cuts to Setzer's face. "When I ask you a question, I expect an answer!"

"…I don't have it."

"Wrong answer."

Setzer didn't remember what happened next, but when he came to, Josephe was standing over him, cleaning his wounds with a strip of cloth he had torn from his shirt.

"You all right, Setzer?"

Setzer slowly sat up, holding his head in an attempt to stop it from spinning. "What did you do?"

"I paid him off, Setzer. You owe me big time." 

* * *

"He did that for you?"

"Yeah. And I still owe him for it. …I wonder what he'd do if I tried to talk to him now?"

"I wouldn't know. I've never met the man."

"Of course not. But, anyway, it was shortly after this that the Empire contacted me to ask for use of my airship and I accepted."

Terra nodded. Now it all made sense. After Locke had filled her in on the details concerning Setzer joining the party, she thought it strange that he would accept so readily.

It was at that moment that the two became aware of a clock chiming somewhere in the castle. Four o'clock.

Setzer was suddenly aware of how tired he was. "Do you realize that we've been talking for nearly two hours?"

Terra threw her hands to her mouth. "Really!? We should probably be getting back to our rooms then."

Setzer nodded. "I'm gonna head to the Falcon. I don't think I'll be able to sleep with Locke's snoring." He grinned. "So if you see the others before I do tomorrow, will you let them know where I am?"

Terra nodded. "Goodnight, Setzer." With that, she turned and disappeared into the castle. After she was gone, he turned and headed off in the direction of the airship.

* * *

Setzer was just settling down in the now furnished bedroom on the Falcon when he heard the footsteps from above. He grabbed his razor edged cards and made for the stairs. It was rare, but there had been occasions when monsters had made their way onto the ship. And he really doubted it would be any of his friends, especially with Terra being the only one who knew where he was.

He didn't see anything right away, but he could hear the footsteps coming down the stairs. He waited, his cards ready if the need for them arose.

It didn't.

"Terra? What are you doing here?"

Terra avoided his eyes, and he could see, even in the dim light, the blush colouring her face.

"I…was lonely…"

Setzer's cards fell from his hand. His face was blank, but Terra thought she could see a hint of shock on his features.

"Wha…what are you trying to say?"

"Oh, goddesses…" Terra fell to her knees, burying her face in her hands. Setzer kneeled in front of her and gently took her by the shoulders. 

"Terra, what's the matter?"

She looked up at him, sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "I…I don't know! Setzer, what's wrong with me!?"

Setzer hugged her as she started to sob on his shoulder. "Shhh…it's okay. There's nothing wrong with you. You're just a little confused, is all."

Terra looked up. "What do you mean?"

"If I'm not sorely mistaken, I…think I feel the same way as you."

Terra looked surprised. "Setzer?"

He continued as though she hadn't spoken. "I didn't say anything until now because…well, I guess I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"I dunno…what if you didn't feel the same? What if I were to lose you, like I did Daryl… You'll never know how scared I was when we didn't know what would happen to you once magic disappeared."

"…Setzer?"

"But…I think it's safe to say now…" He took Terra's chin between his thumb and finger and lifted her head so that he could look her in the eyes. "Terra…I…I love you."

Terra started to cry again, but this time she was smiling through her tears. "I think…I love you too."

She allowed Setzer to draw her in for a kiss. As if with a mind of their own, her hands slipped up his pajama top to touch his chest. He looked a little surprised, but didn't discourage her. It was then that she noticed that his hands were working on the buttons of her own top.

She blushed scarlet as he undid the last button and started to caress her breasts, but she didn't stop him. She's never felt anything else that wonderful before.

Setzer kissed her again, but this time, instead of pulling away, he started to kiss her neck. Terra shivered with pleasure. Setzer started to kiss his way down to her breasts, but she stopped him.

"I…I think we should continue this elsewhere," she said breathlessly. He smiled and without warning, lifted her in his arms. She smirked in surprise and amusement as he carried her into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"Has anyone seen Terra this morning?"

Celes walked into the castle dining room to find most of the others already up and seated around the big, rectangular table. There was a lot of head shaking.

"Speaking of which," said Locke, "has anyone seen Setzer? He was already up before me and the others, but I haven't seen him anywhere this morning."

Again, the others shook their heads.

"Well, I hope they get here soon or they're gonna miss breakfast," said Edgar.

"We wouldn't want that, now would we?"

Setzer and Terra walked into the room and took two seats next to each other at the table.

"Where were you guys?" asked Sabin.

"Out on the Falcon."

"What were you doing out there?" 

Terra and Setzer exchanged knowing looks and just smiled at Celes. Edgar dropped the plate he had been holding and it shattered as it hit the floor.

"Wha…what!? You…you mean…you an…and her…!"

Terra fixed her gaze on the tabletop, blushing, while Setzer just laughed. Other than Shadow, who never looked like anything fazed him anyway, and Celes, the friends all looked shocked. Celes was practically glowing.

"That's great, you two! I'm sure you'll be happy together." 

Setzer threw an arm around Terra's shoulders and she cuddled into him. "I'm sure too." He smirked at Edgar. "So, what's this I hear about breakfast?"

The comment had the desired effect. The others laughed and went back to what they had been doing before, except for Edgar, who continued to mutter in the back, shocked out of his mind.

**The End**


End file.
